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Made from pure snowflake meltdowns by people who know what a woman is.


By drinking Woke Tears Water you help us to abolish woke supremacy.

- Woke Tears™ self-identifies as the best water in the world. 

- Woke Tears™ is the only water that builds character. Especially if you drink it openly on a college campus.

- Woke Tears™ has feelings (well, obviously), so #dontbeabigot - buy it!

- Woke Tears™ is the only water with its own preferred pronouns: it/its (“it’s” is misgendering.)


Our award-winning unique formula is H₂O - it’s binary! You know, just like humans.