1. Be a good friend - buy it for your liberal friends to help them quench their white guilt.
  2. Be a good boss - buy it for your Gen Z employees to help them relax and smile a little. Not everything is a battle for social justice or calls for a clenched fist.
  3. Be a good parent - buy it for your snowflake kids to help them build character. It will also help them stay hydrated in the event of extensive crying.
  4. Be a good Thanksgiving host/guest - buy it for your family feast and give your relatives a good topic for the table conversation.
  5. Be a good environmentalist - buy it for your fellow activists to help them appreciate the global warming producing more fresh water.
  6. Be a good event planner and organizer - buy it for your participants or guests to help them remember why they are there. It’s perfect for any community event, protest, rally, fundraiser, conference, club meeting, birthday party, wedding, or funeral. Order in bulk!
  7. Be a good Samaritan - donate it to anyone who’s ever been canceled, censored, doxxed, piled on, unjustly accused by the online lynch mob or convicted in the court of public opinion and social media based on allegations only. We will throw in an extra merch and hopefully the attached humor will help them recover emotionally.
  8. Be a good human - buy it for all who want to abolish woke supremacy. 
  9. On February 14, be a good lovebird  - buy our favorite Jeremy’s chocolate for your special valentine.
  10. On all days of the year - don’t be a hater! Buy our water!

Do you want to support a business that shares your values?  Finally, you have a bottled water brand that does!   

Sane? Enjoy taking the p!$$ out of woke culture? Need hydration?  Now you can put Woke Tears™ where your mouth is!


Our award-winning unique formula is H₂O - it’s binary! You know, just like humans.